Screwing with Omegle

You: Look, I'm tired of all this bullshit- lets get to it. I'm 25 years old, male, I still live with my elderly mother, I play WoW 12 hours a day (when I'm not playing, i'm usually on chatroulett, gettin my wank on), i rarely shower, i am 120 pounds overweight, I have not gone outside in about a month, I dropped out of highschool and havent gotten laid since 7th grade. I have a largish penis and can last just over two minutes before i cum, and I have all of my original pubic hair.
Stranger: helloo =D
You:
Wanna fuck? Women preffered.
Stranger: WOAH
You:
BTW, the voices say that all of my 15 cats, and several large, venomous snakes have to watch.
You: So?
Stranger: well...
Stranger: i'll have to think about it.
Stranger: are your snakes all venomous?
You: Except for one. His names charlie
You: Their all named charlie
Stranger: haha
Stranger: can he join? ;]
You: Sure
Stranger: i'd like that.
Stranger: would you bite my neck?
You: Of course, but you would have to be on top.
You: I'm a little too heavy
Stranger: okay.
Stranger: thats okay ;]
Stranger: i like big boys.
You: So.... you have a WoW account?
Stranger: sorry xD
Stranger: no.
You: Yeah, baby, four fucking inches of hard steel.
You: mmmm
Stranger: nice ;]
Stranger: are you being serious with me? ----Notice that this dumb bitch thought I was serious up to this time.
You: so whats your cup size?
Stranger: D.
You: SWEET
You: Almost as much as me
Stranger: okay! ugh
Stranger: thats enough.
You: hahaha
Stranger: i know this is a prank xD
Stranger: nice.
You: Yeah, I really have a 3 inch penis. I was just saying that so youd think im huge
Stranger: -.-
Stranger: well.
Stranger: sorry.
Stranger: but to be honest, my 12 year old has a bigger penis than you.

Stranger: do not say hello.
You: a/s/l/u?
You: Also, greetings
Stranger: good. you passed the first test.
You: First test?
Stranger: tell me peasant, what is your name?
You: Craig
Stranger: you failed the second test. craig is a terribe name.
You: DAMN. Give me a second chance, I need the money
Stranger: its not for money damn it! you are supposed to save the world as we know it!
You: the.... the world???
You: Are you... Dick Cheny
Stranger: close.
You: Remsfeld? I KNEW IT WAS YOU
You: rumsfeld
Stranger: damn, you blew my secret!! i am from the future. and they're coming. you have to do as i say.
You: *>*
You: *pisses self
Stranger: what is that for?? are you in or not??
Stranger: BE A MAN CRAIG!
You: IM IN
You: HURRY UP DAMN YOU I LIKE THE WORLD
Stranger: okay. here is what you have to do. they are coming, and there is nothing you can do. you have to tell the world to HIDE
You: HIDE???? How the fuck am I supposed to do that.... UNLESS....
Stranger: what is your plan peasant??
Stranger: hurry!! we dont ha enough time!!
You: Unless we use a hyperdimensional turbotunnnel with 360gfforce of reliability and a built in time-force-flux capacitor to transform the earth into mars and the mars into earth. Its crazy, but it just might work
Stranger: you know what, its so crazy, it just might work..
Stranger: go now, craig. go and SAVE THE WORLD
You: I know. Okay, do you know where I can find 200 tons of plutonium and 20000 tons of aluminum-tinanium composite?
You: nvm. Ill use Craigslist.
You: Okay, but what about the live eels needed to power it?
Stranger: no, the only substitute you can use is lettuce.
You: DAMMIt. Only Ebay has that much
You: And ebay CHARGES
Stranger: the world needs saved damn it!! go buy it, we dont have time. now i have to go and fight some aliens. i will never forget you, the peasant who will save the world.

Stranger: hi
You: hey a/s/l/u/s
Stranger: 20 M Ireland
Stranger: u/s?
You: Ugly?/Species?
You: I need to know that. What if a fugly horse was sitting behind a keyboard. Than what would you do?
Stranger: ure fucked up in the head
Stranger: every1 is ugly
You: Every one? Even Obama YOU RACIST??
Stranger: yes every1
Stranger: we all die
Stranger: we all get diseases
Stranger: we are all selfish
Stranger: we are all ugly ppl
You: Tht doesnt make us ugly. Just makes us bad people.
Stranger: every girl wears make up
Stranger: have u seen most celebs without it?
You: So? Some girls have fake boobs, cant tell me you dont love those.
Stranger: no i dont hate it
You: Look, you havent even told me your species yet.
Stranger: but i def dont love them
Stranger: u can see the scars on them
Stranger: and they look stupid
You: FAKE BOOBS ARE AWESOME YOU NAZI
Stranger: ok
You: Sorry. My parents were killed by a pair of real brests
You: I'm still a little sensitive
Stranger: i bet there both still alive
Stranger: and u should never say that about ure parents
You: Okay, fine that may have been a dream I had after taking too many k-pins
Stranger: k
You: But the point is, fake boobs are awesome.
Stranger: why not say all boobs are awsome
Stranger: the point is, u are insecure about who u are
Stranger: you need to get the fuck off omegle
Stranger: take a long hard look at ureself 2 moro
You: wat? I AM OMEGLE
You: BOW TO ME
Stranger: sure u are kid
You: No, srsly, thou, real boobs feel better, fake ones not so much. Still awesome thou.
Stranger: well i wouslnt complain
Stranger: wouldnt*
Stranger: boobs are boobs
You: fair enough
Stranger: i prefer pussy and ass though
You: 'i agree completely with the above statement
Stranger: well u fucker
Stranger: ure annoying as fuck
Stranger: so bye
You: BYE BITCH
Stranger: fuck you u cunt
Stranger: druid do bhael
You: FUCK YOU WE WON THE WAR
Stranger: pog mo thoin
Stranger: wat war?
You: IF IT WASNT FOR US YOUD BE SPEAKING GERMAN
Stranger: wud b better
Stranger: we wud all b the same then
Stranger: nothing to fight for
You: Wait, where do you come from again?
Stranger: Ireland
You: O, shit. I'm irish. American, but irish mostly.
Stranger: no you think you are
Stranger: your uncles sisters dog was irish
Stranger: u are not
Stranger: u are amierican
You: No, really, i see little green people and drink myself to an early death every night.
You: Can anything be more irish?
Stranger: im 6'7
Stranger: im 100% IRISH
Stranger: ure just a tard
You: I'm 6'3" and irish-american.
You: I love clovers.
You: I hate englishmen.
Stranger: do u eat them?
You: Yeah, why?
You: Wait, the englishmen or the clovers?
Stranger: no that wasnt funny
You: lighten up dude, this is the internet, not some panzy ass gentlemans club
You: Also, whats panzy mean?
Stranger: a fruit
Stranger: like a gay
You: I think that still works.
Stranger: wat works?
You: Exactly.
Stranger: why dont you disconnect
Stranger: im a really sick minded person
Stranger: i wouldnt think twice about fuck u in the ass
You: Because I'm bored and waitng for some person to reply to me on craiglist for a ball python
Stranger: u litte fag
You: And I'm a ninja, so you couldnt
Stranger: oh i cud
Stranger: u fat yank
You: BITCH I HAVE A FUCKING KATANA
Stranger: druid do bhael
You: Come on irishy, why dont you disconnect so you can go pick your potati=oes and fuck your dad?
Stranger: why dont u disconnect
Stranger: my dad was killed by the british army
You: CAUSE IMA NINJA, YOU FIRST
You: Also, your dad wasnt.
Stranger: ok
You: I knew him.
You: Really short, green, grants wishes to whoever catches him? Also, hangs around the end or rainbows?
You: *of
Stranger: stupid question
You: Aw, they just ate a snake on tv. I... I... love snakes. *cries*
Stranger: u are not that random really
Stranger: imagine slam dunking an exhaust pipe in a german field
You: Hey, dont make fun of my ADH.... um... HEy a butterfly
Stranger: ever go on the ync.com?
Stranger: some good deaths on it
You: No. Ever go to (link never really existed and anyone who thinks otherwise is a DIRTY FUCKING LIAR)? Its all about waffles that are blue, I'd reccomend you go there
You: Seriously. Awesome site.
Stranger: ure really predictable
Stranger: say something really fucked up and random
You: Today, I ate a pig anus by accident. That goddamn chink at subway put it in my sandwich.
Stranger: thats funny
Stranger: say something more random
You: How random? afijawhjfqwjdqw GODDAMN CAT GET OFF MY KEYBOARD
Stranger: no that sucked
Stranger: so wats the deal here
Stranger: u want me 2 disconnect cause ure a ninja?
You: $5 I LOVE YOU LONG TIME
You: Seriously. LONG time.
Stranger: k
You: Yeah.
Stranger: im sick , really sick
Stranger: so im not disconnecting
You: Hey, you got a PSN?
Stranger: wat is psn
Stranger: so u may as well just leave now
You: WHY IS THAT WAT YOU WOULD WANT? WELL, IM NOT GIVING YOU THAT SATIFACTION, MR. MAN. FUCK YOU AND YOUR BAILEY'S CREAM LIQUOR
Stranger: where r u from
You: IM SORRY, my parent were killed my baileys cream.
You: Im still sensitive
You: Also, US
You: Families from ireland
Stranger: k
Stranger: u really shouldnt talk about ure family like that
You: Hey, can I buy some shrooms off of you>
Stranger: im from Ireland
Stranger: so it wud b hard 2 ship i guess
You: dont really care. I'll send you money, along with a clipping of my own hair.
Stranger: wat will i do with the hair
You: You, know, in case i get really famous.
You: Then you can sell it on ebay to some stalker
Stranger: lol
You: By that reasoning, i shouldnt even pay you. Your gonna make the money i owe you when I get famous
Stranger: good point
Stranger: and wat wud u b famous for?
Stranger: talking shite?
You: I dunno, lead guitar, president of the US, superstar scientist, highschool shooting... Really depends on what goes down
Stranger: ever think about shooting up a school?
You: Im gonna tell you something that may shock and dismay you.... I am single. Yes, I cant beleive it either.
You: I know, i know. It just doesnt make sense.
Stranger: im single 2
Stranger: maybe thats why we r o omegle
Stranger: or maybe every1 else arent weird or freaks like us
You: No, cant be a coincidence. It... it... must be FATE
Stranger: the world aint fair
Stranger: must b
You: SHIT, BRB, angry clown
Stranger: do u like gaped assholes?
You: im back. It was nothing, something about being a jahovas witness and running over a dog or some shit. Doesnt matter
Stranger: k
Stranger: but do u liked gaped assholes?
You: not a big fan.
Stranger: pity
Stranger: wat r u a fan off
You: METALLICA!!!!!
You: *starts headbanging for no apparent reason
Stranger: ectasy of gold is some tune
Stranger: think the world will end in 2012?
You: Yeah, their early stuff is great.
You: i think the world will end, just not in 2012. What with the nature of mankind, global thermonuclear war isnt far off.
Stranger: im looking 4ward to it
Stranger: it will end really quicky
Stranger: or do u think it will go slow?
You: Ah, your a depressed bastard, arent you.
You: I think.... actually i dont think..
Stranger: sometimes
Stranger: why dont u think
Stranger: wats ure point in this life?
You: Fuck bitches, get money.
You: J/K I cant get either. Learn the secrets of the universe, I guess.
Stranger: waste time on omegle?
You: Actually, this is the first time the orderlies have let me on Omegle
Stranger: the what?
You: The orderlies.
Stranger: kay kay
You: Dont get me mad, if i get mad one more time, their upping my meds.
Stranger: hahah
You: Goddamn Winston, he jacked off in my socks again and painted people on the wall having sex with my deoderant. Why did they put me with this guy?
Stranger: duno
Stranger: do you know buzz killington?
You: Hell yeah, that dude killed my buzz.
Stranger: he is some pup
You: So, what are you doing? Killing kittens or something?
Stranger: especially when his tail grows
Stranger: no, i dont kill animals
Stranger: thats wat killers start of doing
You: Dude, you dont kill them to kill them, you just kill them when their sick. You can tell, when they start getting really puffy and make this "mew mew mew" sound.
You: Its humane
Stranger: i know
Stranger: i dont have cats or kittens
Stranger: i have 30,000 pheasants
You: Awesome. Im buying a ball python.
Stranger: k
You: 4 years old, 4 ft long. Fucking eats rats.
You: Awesome
Stranger: indeed
You: BAsterd from Craiglist hasnt replied yet... im getting nervous
Stranger: wats craiglist
You: www.craiglist.org Free site, i think US only.
Stranger: i googled it
Stranger: says looking for jobs in loindon
Stranger: London*
You: You can advertise anything there, from sex to that old couch on your lawn
Stranger: wud u like to see the queen take a poo?
You: Or, sometimes, both.
You: Actualy, yes. Yes I would.
Stranger: wud u get a kick out of it?
You: Do you want to see something awesome? (link deletreed)
Stranger: oh i know that
Stranger: thats old
You: (link gone)
Stranger: go to
Stranger: (link disapeared)
You: (link went bye bye) Funny as hell
Stranger: do u know durrrr?
You: Look, im gonna be honest, I got a situation with a slutty girl, a donkey, and some cops I gotta work out right now. So goodbye, fair knight.

but to be honest, my 12 year old has a bigger penis than you.

...I know. Okay, do you know where I can find 200 tons of plutonium and 20000 tons of aluminum-titanium composite? nvm. Ill use Craigslist.